I am the Salieri of Golf
It’s been a painful two weeks since my last post. I’ve practiced a number of times, and my swing was getting progressively worse, not better, over three practices. Then, in desperation, yesterday, I got out my iPod with Tour Tempo on it, set it to 27/9 and hit balls. Slowly, my swing came back and I started hitting the ball decently again. So, this morning, I went to Hank Haney Golf Ranch in Lewisville and set out to continue training with Tour Tempo. Happily, my swing continued to improve. In fact, I felt good enough to go play nine. So, after having a good putting practice session, I paid for nine and played.
Disaster struck on the very first hole, hitting the ball thin directly into the water, skipping several times and nearly getting onto the grass. But, alas, no luck, ball stayed wet. Took a drop and hit a wedge just over the green, chipped close and tapped in for a cool double.
Next hole, par 4, I hit a 6-iron draw, just clearing the fairway bunker on the edge of the fairway. I hit a sand wedge a bit fat just short of the green, chipped poorly and two-putted for bogey.
Next hole, par 3, I pushed a high lob wedge shot well right. The ball hit a log just outside the hazard, bounced high into the rough over the green. I hit a poor chip (again) short and two-putt for bogey.
Fourth hole, par 4, was just plain ugly. I pushed my tee shot with the 3i hybrid into the hazard. I took a drop and then hit a lay-up 8-iron, hoping to get a clear shot at the green that is well-protected by an overhanging tree. I was left with a sand wedge to the flag, but that required clearing an overhanging tree. I am the acknowledged master of hitting the only branch that can be hit; and I didn’t disappoint: clipped that branch and landed in the rough just to the right of the green, narrowly missing the bunker. Naturally, I hit the ball thin right over the green, then hit a lob wedge pitch short and two putt for a nasty triple.
Fifth hole, par 3. I hit a pitching wedge hook right of the green, chipped short to 12 feet, and then proceeded to three-putt for double.
Sixth hole, par 4. I hit a 4-iron off the tee, hooking it into the left rough ton to a hump with a difficult uphill lie. I hit a good 8-iron short just short of the green, chipped short (again!!!) and just missed the par putt by an inch, and tapped in for bogey.
Seventh hole, par 3. I hit a 5-iron draw left of the green, chipped short (see a pattern yet?), hit a putt to 6 inches and tapped in for bogey.
Eighth hole, par 4. Normally, I get out the driver and try to drive the green, but that club has not been playing nice, so I decide to play safe and hit a 5-iron off the tee. There’s an overhanging branch over the fairway that I’ve hit numerous times with a 6-iron, so I figure a 5-iron won’t go high enough to hit it. Riiiiiiiiiight! Bonk!!! OK, mulligan time. Move the ball back in my stance a little. You know what’s gonna happen… Bonk!!! The only freakin’ branch that can be hit, and I’ve nailed it twice… Only this time, who knows where the ball went… Why is it I’m perfectly consistent when I don’t want to be????
I’ll save you the disasters that followed on the green at the eighth and ninth holes, as the point has been made.
I’m the Salieri of Golf.